This "Tips" post comes from Emily Likens, a recent graduate from MCU!
A midwife is a high calling and
midwifery will demand a lot from you. Compared to the big picture, the skill
set a midwife needs for the actual birth is rather small. A midwife’s “free” time will involve calls,
texts, and emails from clients.
Questions ranging from ‘When is our next appointment?’-to-‘I am having
bleeding’, will flood your phone at all hours of the day and night. Having the ability to navigate the client/midwife
relationship takes practice. Learning
how to set appropriate boundaries while still providing high quality care can
be challenging. Good thing preparation
for this happens within a good midwifery apprenticeship.
You preceptor will invest a lot into
your training and will expect 110% from you in return. The preceptor/student midwife relationship
requires both women to give and
take. Just as the midwife should be
respected and given a place of honor, the student should be as well. Understand this relationship is intimate and
has similar characteristics to raising a child.
With that said here are some realistic tips on how to be a midwifery
apprentice within the clinical setting.
Do not “friend” your
preceptor’s clients.
It is not ok to become friends or
Facebook friends with them. I loved many of my preceptor’s clients and
could have formed easy friendships with them. However, there needs to be a clear line
between client and friend. If a client
“friends” you on Facebook, talk with your preceptor before responding. If she says ‘no’, honor that.
Be early to appointments
My preceptor liked to review the client load before
clinic day began. This was an important
time we could talk about any client concerns.
Because I traveled over an hour to get to clinic, my preceptor knew
there would be days this wouldn’t happen.
On days when I was running late, I made sure to text or call her so she
would know I was still coming. My
preceptor also tried to call me if an appointment time changed or was
cancelled. Furthermore, it was important
to my preceptor that I checked with her the evening before each clinic day to
check her schedule, which I did.
Do not text or take phone
calls during the appointment
Unless there was a family emergency,
texts and calls were not allowed. My preceptor preferred students phones be
left out in the office commons, so they would not disrupt the
appointments.
Dress appropriately
Every preceptor will be different on
this.
My preceptor did not want tattoos to show and she asked for any face
piercings to be removed. She also did
not allow any sleeveless shirts or tank tops, low cut or revealing shirts and
skirts, and no jeans (jean skirts were fine).
Her clients typically were conservative and she aimed to make them feel
comfortable with everyone involved in their care. By dressing and acting appropriately in
clinic, it is easier to integrate into your preceptor’s practice.
Listen
Listening is a skill that needs to
be practiced. Don’t use the conversation
as a stage leading to your performance. People who wait to talk are not really
listening; they are barely hearing. There are several types of listening
that a midwifery student (and midwife) needs to be good at. Here are three types of listening you will
need to practice:
·
Social listening is the most common form of listening. The
listener is attending to the speaker, asks appropriate questions of the
speaker, and may render a comment or two along the way. Social listening
creates a comfortable atmosphere between the parties; it is friendly,
non-confrontational, and avoids controversy.
·
Engagement. With engaged listening the two parties are actively
listening to one another. Each party benefits from the engagement; each
feels heard and understood.
·
Empathic listening. This form of listening requires that one attend
not only to the words that are being said, but also to the tone, intent, and
context. In empathic listening the listener is fully engaged with the speaker
on multiple levels, often responding to the emotional tone and experience of
the speaker rather than only to the content of what is being said.
Because I practiced
engaged and empathic listening, I remembered client details and
situations. When a client came back for
their next prenatal appointment, I was able to remember our conversation and
would follow up with the client (when appropriate). What this did for me was to help my
preceptor’s client know I was involved and I cared about them. My preceptor also knew that I was listening
to learn.
Demonstrate to your
preceptor that you are studying
I would share my work with my preceptor so she could see
what I was learning. She would quiz me when
we drove to home visits. This helped her
learn what kind of student I was, and also to gage what kind of
responsibilities I was ready for.
Be teachable
Being teachable and humble stands
out as the most significant and critical attributes for success. If you want to end a preceptor/student
relationship quickly, be prideful and arrogant. Friends, teachers, mentors and coaches are
all willing to share their knowledge with modest people who are genuinely
willing and eager to receive information. Your preceptor will be happy to teach
everything she knows about a given topic when she knows you are receiving what
she has to say.
I saw many students come
and go due to an un-teachable heart. No
midwife has time or the energy to teach a student who is not teachable. Pride and arrogance make the worse kind of
student.
Be available
Sorry to tell you this, but your family
time will be intruded on. In fact, you
will be asked to drive in inclement weather; miss vacations, holidays, and
birthdays (even your own); your sex life will get interrupted; your husband and
children may not see you (literally) for days; you will make plans with the
caveat “unless I get called to a birth”.
All these things have happened
many times as a student and it is just part of being a midwife. You will end up carrying your phone into the
bathroom, leave it on 24/7, and freak out when you can’t find it. The bottom line is you will have to be
accessible and available to your midwife.
I was at a mothers group when I got a call from my preceptor. She couldn’t get a hold of the student slated
to attend a particular birth and the mom was in labor. That student was not invited to another
birth.
Keep your home life at
home
Midwives are busy and their clients
require a lot of energy. As a student,
you are not the focus. Appointments with
clients are not to be commandeered by you.
Your personal problems and struggles need to stay at home.
You are not the priority
Your preceptor does not have the
time or energy to chase after you and hold your hand. Rather, communicate your needs to your
preceptor in a professional way. Learning
how to communicate effectively takes practice but it will hold you in good
stead throughout your life. If you need
clarification of her expectations simply ask, don’t try to guess, you are not a
mind reader! My preceptor and I struggled with communication and in the end it did
cause hurt feelings within our relationship.
Take care of your
paperwork right away
Have your preceptor sign off your
paperwork at the end of each clinic day.
I
did not do this and it took almost 100 hours in chart audits and paperwork at
the end of my apprenticeship to prepare my paperwork. It also required my preceptor to spend time
verifying all of my work. If you need
your preceptor to sign paperwork, make sure to remind her during a free period
or at the end of the day. You never know
when your apprenticeship may come to an end so get it taken care of right away!
You are not the midwife
Clients are paying your preceptor
for her time, expertise and skill, not yours.
Don’t ever put your preceptor in a compromising place. If you disagree with something that came up
during an appointment, talk with your preceptor after client appointments are
done. Ask her if she can explain why she
suggested XYZ to her client. If you
directly challenge your preceptor, you are essentially saying you know more
then her, which is not true.
Here are some benefits
that happen when you are able to apply these tips:
- Your
preceptor will be more willing to have you participate with her clients
- You
learn to consider others needs and strive to make them feel comfortable
- Your
actions will tell your preceptor that you are serious about midwifery
- These
traits will go a long way to establish yourself as a professional midwife
